Balance

This weekend, with its mild weather, blue skies and sunny spells along with good friends and hardwork taught me that the weekend balance isn't quite so hard to achieve as I'd first imagined.

My home is clean, the laundry basket empty (almost!) and my garden is freshly mowed and begging for some seedlings.

It's strange to think about all the knowledge you begin to acquire, almost without realising it. This beautiful Sunday morning over pancakes and fresh coffee my friend, her partner and mine were daydreaming of ways to fill their new garden with veggies, herbs and maybe something special to commemorate the birth of their daughter when I suddenly realised that they were asking us for advice. 

US! The us who've only had a garden for four years. The us I still think of as only 20 and 22, just starting out in a relationship that feels as familiar, as comfortable and as supportive as your favourite bra. 

I joke but I find it so hard to marry our age with the perception I had of people in their late-twenties that I remember from my teenage vantage point. To me they always seemed to fit their age, like they wore it as a trophy, a way of proving their experience in the world. But I just don't see that in me. Maybe when I start to look like a grown-up it'll settle in, or maybe when check-out assistants stop asking me for ID I'll feel more like a woman heading towards her 30s rather than a little girl playing dress-up.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm happily bumbling along toward the day when I can grow old gracefully, adopting the sparkly-eyed Judi Dench approach to old age. I often think how interesting it'd be to see myself at that age. I wonder if I'll have beautiful white hair like my grandmother or whether I'll always have my brown locks.

Isn't it funny how a new life can make you think like this. And how amazing it is to watch someone you've known for years ease into motherhood as smoothly and as quietly as a feather falling through the air. It was really lovely to watch my friend and, although it's not what I want yet, she will definitely be someone that I will look toward for guidance and honest, to-the point, gory tales and advice from the other side.

Well now, enough of my musings. I have to sign off and make my Mum her Mothers Day present. Not that I was too ambitious with the time constraints but lets just say there may be smoke rising from my needles in the coming week.

Nighty night xxx